My Seven Mermaid Videos on Youtube

Wednesday, 18 April 2018

My Latest Book

My new Femdom story that has many of my matriarchal spiritual ideas within it.

Femdom Religious Cult

Saturday, 17 February 2018

Fred Finley Femdom books

Treated Like A Dog
Femdom Slave Racket

Where Women Rule

Dangerous Woman
Beasts of Tatiana
Dominant Mermaids

These books take a unique and original view on Femdom.  

Available from and.- Femdom Cave

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Sunday, 15 April 2012



Before Feminism and Femdom it was always assumed by everyone that men were the natural dominant sex and this belief still persists today.  But is it true?  It might be like the Hans Christian Andersen story of The Emperor's New Clothes, where everyone said the Emperor wore fine clothing, but the truth was, he was naked.

It is of interest that Femdom was started and created by men.  A man wrote the first true Femdom book, Venus In Furs, which was published in 1870, and up until recently it has been mostly men who have written on the subject.  It also has been men who have paid Dominatrixes to whip and humiliate them. 

Men have encouraged, paid and even demanded that women dominate, use and abuse them to such a degree that women have accused these men of ‘topping from the bottom’.  This is because it seems that men have been ‘calling the shots’ in Femdom and not women.  So why has it been men and not women who have been the driving force in Femdom?   

We must remember that men are brainwashed from childhood to believe men are the dominant sex.  So a man who submits to a woman is called a wimp and would be ridiculed for being so timid.  So what drives these men to defy the whole of patriarchal society and conditioning and publically tell the world they want to submit to women?

This is similar behaviour observed in male lemurs in zoos.  The wild lemurs of Madagascar live in matriarchal groups where the females dominate.  So the females would learn from their mothers how to continue the matriarchy.  But sometimes in zoos this connection is broken where lemurs are brought up in isolation and do not have any role models when growing up.  This means they have to rely on their basic instincts to know how to behave.

What is interesting is that the instinct of lemur males to submit to females is far stronger than the female’s instinct to be in charge.  So there have been cases where males and females have been put in the same cage together and the males immediately submit to the females, using submissive calls and body language.  But the females didn’t always respond to this.  Like in Femdom the male lemurs have to persuade and reassure the females that they are genuine, in wanting to be submissive to them.

Perhaps it might be that men are the true natural submissive sex. It could be that slavery is part of men’s DNA, because slavery has been commonplace throughout recorded history.  Serfs and slaves are totally powerless people, they are actually owned by other people and they have no rights and can be beaten or murdered with impunity.  While the fruits of their labour goes to their owner and not to them.

If men are the dominant sex, why have we had slavery and serfdom?  We have had slavery from the time of the Ancient Greeks and Romans up until the 19th century.  So men cannot be very domineering, if it is so easy for other men to turn them into slaves and serfs?

We also find the same situation in the military, where soldiers are seen as being tough macho men.  Yet soldier will obey without question, the most insane orders which will result in their deaths.  The extremes of this are World War One where soldiers climbed out of their trenches to face near certain death by machine gun fire because they were ordered to do so.  Or in World War Two where Japanese Kamikaze suicide pilots deliberately crashed their aircraft into enemy shipping because they were also obeying orders.  Patriarchy will spin this as iron discipline, but it is also extreme submission to authority.

The surprising thing is that the military can train men to kill themselves when ordered to do so, without any intense brainwashing.  All they do is boss them around on a parade ground and they get so used to obeying orders that they will obey the most insane orders on the battle field.

What is striking about all patriarchal societies is that that they are all based on a hierarchal structure, where it seems men cannot work together unless they appoint a leader to tell everyone else what to do.  These leaders then get total obedience from other men, to the degree it is very easy for all patriarchal leaders to abuse their power.

This is why in all male dominated societies there is a vast gap between rich and poor because the ruling elite find it too easy to exploit the people they rule.  This is only possible because men have within them a very strong instinct to obey orders from anyone in a leadership position.  We have had in the past kings and dictators who have been obviously insane and yet still retain power.  So strong is men’s instinct to obey a leader.

Another thing that is commonplace in all patriarchal societies is the oppression of women.  Where men are encouraged to use their greater size and strength to dominate and abuse women.  So why is it so important for patriarchal societies to keep women

And extreme case is Muslim countries where they have a custom where a man is ‘dishonoured’ if his will does not obey and respect him.  And they only way he can regain his ‘honour’ is to kill his wife.  So if men are so dominant why do they need such an extreme doctrine to oppress women?  If men were the natural dominant sex they wouldn’t need such brutal custom to ensure they were.  Women would instinctively obey men, if male domination was the natural order.  The fact that they have to be forced to obey through extreme violence, makes this questionable.

We use to have a similar idea in Western countries where a man wasn’t a ‘real man’, if his wife bossed him about.  So up until the 20th century wife beating was normal in all Western cultures.  Suggesting there was a lot of disobedient wives who could only be kept in line through intimidation and violence.

So why do all patriarchal countries keep women down?  It might be because if women are not actively oppressed, then they might quickly take over and overthrow the patriarchal ruling class.  Men have a strong instinct to obey anyone in authority so if women take over the leadership position and men obey them.  Then the patriarchal rulers of our world will lose all their power, influence and wealth. We are starting to see this happen with the rise of both Feminism and Femdom in Western countries.

This suggests that the only thing stopping women becoming the dominant sex is patriarchal propaganda and brainwashing.  Even today with the rise of feminism, many men still do not wish to admit in public that his wife might be the boss in their relationship, for fear of ridicule. 

They may even still have problems in private and fight against their submissive Femdom desires as they fear that his wife wouldn’t respect him.  This is because women have also have been brainwashed into believing men are the dominant sex.  We can see this when the Femdom movement started and many women were very suspicious of Femdom men.  Only because they believed that something was wrong with them as they didn’t seem to be like ‘normal’ men.

So perhaps the reason why women cannot dominate men is for the simple reason that they don’t believe they can do it.  Like female lemurs in zoos they have to be persuaded by the males that they truly want to submit to them.  This is why a strong Femdom movement is so important to persuade women that it is natural for men to be submissive.

Women are not encouraged to boss men around and instead are told they must use ‘feminine wiles’ to manipulate men.  Yet, there are women who find it easy to order men around, so what is their secret?  Is it because, they didn’t use feminine wiles but directly told men what to do?  Women are encouraged to be ‘nice’ and ask men to do what they want, but is this really the best way to get what you want from men?  It seems that many men will respond more positively, to the woman giving them orders.

This means we have to look to both sexes being brainwashed by patriarchal indoctrination.  Where women don’t use their power to dominate men simply because they don’t believe they have this power, or are too frighten to use it.  Certainly, if a woman can start to get a man to obey orders, the more she bosses him about the more obedient he will become, because after a while, following orders will become an automatic response.


Many women will find the direct approach difficult to do or perhaps have tried it only to find it hasn’t worked for them.  Certainly a woman has to be very confident to boss men around.  There are also men who have been totally brainwashed by patriarchy that men are the dominant sex, that it might be hard to overcome this.

But there are other methods that are not so blatantly obvious.  Like a Behaviourist Psychological trick of associating two stimulus together.  (This came from the Pavlov's dog experiments).  The idea is that if two stimuli are mixed together in a person’s mind, activating one of them will rouse the other.

Women can use men’s sexual desire to help her in this.  When a couple first meet, it is obvious the man will desperately want to get into bed with the woman.  Because of this he is willing at first to accept any type of behaviour from the woman he wouldn’t normally agree to.  So she can be very bossy with him from the start and get away with it, because he only has sex on his mind. This then will associate in his head a bossy woman with sexual desires and may even awaken within him Femdom feelings.  Also getting him use to obeying orders from a woman can quickly become a habit.

This can even work in an establish couple where when the woman sees that the man has strong sexual desires for her, she can be bossy with him. He is less likely to question this then as he has other things on his mind. And again the result will be he will in time associate his wife being bossy with sex desire.  Once this has become a habit she can then start to be bossy, without him wanting sex with her.

Some women may feel they cannot directly give orders to men, but there is a NLP technique that may help.  The idea is to feed orders within normal day to day speech. 

So a woman can say, “dinner is ready, EAT IT NOW, before it gets cold.”

Or she can say, “Can you, GO TO THE SUPERMARKET, to pick up a few things.”

The order part of the sentence is at first just slipped in unnoticed, but over time if the  phrases are used often, it can become more and more empathised until the order is more clearly heard.

The man will then have obeyed her orders without being aware she gave him an order.  To do this a woman has to look at all her speech patterns and see where she can feed orders within them.  Then when the man gets use to this and she can slowly be more direct and obvious in giving him orders.  As the result, she can become more and more bossy without him being aware of the gradual changes in their relationship.


If men are dominant because they have been brainwashed to believe it is natural for men to be dominant.  How do you overcome the brainwashing? 

Indoctrination is very effective if everyone believes in it, this is because all and sundry talks about it to everybody else and so supports and reinforces it in each other.  The indoctrination will also be passed down the generations as parents teach it to their children.  As the result, even if a man has submissive desires towards women, he will fight against it because he believes that there is something wrong with him.  This is because he seems to be different from other men.  Not knowing that other men might have the same secret desires.  

It’s not for nothing that rich people call the common people ‘sheepies’ because most people want to fit in and be seen as ‘normal’.  So the only way men can express their secret desires would be to find like minded people.  This then is the advantage of having a fairly large Femdom community and finding people who feel the same way.

When we had only a small number of men who would admit to their Femdom desires, then most people wouldn’t want to be part of this small group of perverts.  But as the group becomes larger, then Femdom has become more acceptable to more people.  So the perception that many men do have Femdom fantasies is helpful in getting men to own up to their Femdom desires, as people like to be part of a crowd.

It is also be very important to women, because if they find there is a lot of men with Femdom desires, then they will feel that perhaps these men are not abnormal after all.  Certainly women do have the attitude of thinking, ‘what’s the catch’ when dealing with Femdom men and have to have a lot of reassurance to know it’s all right.

It is important to put across the idea that if a man is submissive to women, or has Femdom desires, there is nothing psychology wrong with him.  Certainly pointing out slavery and serfdom in the past and the way military makes men obey orders without question, is helpful in demonstrating that patriarchal propaganda is very dubious. 

Even, books like, 50 Shades Of Grey can be helpful.  It is true it is a book about female submission but it has brought the whole idea of BDSM into the mainstream and making it more acceptable.  So if people can accept maledom they can also accept Femdom.  

Certainly the internet is greatly helpful in this.  Men can go on porn sites and although most of the porn they will see, is basically maledom porn, they will also find Femdom porn on most of these sites as well.  So they can look at this and see if they likes it.  It is well known in the BDSM community that people do switch, so people who can start off in maledom can easy switch to Femdom later on.


Hypnotism is seen as a powerful tool in gaining control over people, but how do you do it?  The theory is that the mind has two parts the conscious and unconscious mind.  In normal conversation the conscious mind accesses and judges everything told to it and if it is told anything it disagrees with, it will refuse to accept it.  In contrast the unconscious mind accepts everything told to it without question.  So if you want to brainwash a person, then you have to find ways to by-pass the conscious mind.  This can be done in two ways.

Some hypnotists hold up a swinging pendulum and ask their subject to focus on it.  So while the conscious mind is busy watching the swinging pendulum the hypnotist talks to the person.  And then can feed ideas directly into the unconscious mind idea that the conscious mind is not blocking, as it is too busy watching the pendulum.

The second method is simply to make the conscious mind relax.  The hypnotists ask the subject to lie down and relax, making suggestions to reinforce this.  Then when the conscious mind is completely relaxed then the hypnotists can feed suggestions that will by-pass the conscious mind.  This is why TV adverts are so effective in brainwashing people to buy products they don’t need or want.  People became too relaxed watching TV and consciously don’t question the misinformation coming from adverts.

So how can a woman use this information?  Women can easy hypnotist men without them being aware of it.  Many women complain that men don’t listen to what they say.  It can get even worse; some business women at board meetings will put forward an idea but get no response.  Then she will be shocked and outraged when a man later on puts forward her idea and no-one will be aware that it was her idea first. 

It seems this has happened so often, that it has become a well-known phenomenon.  So is this just bad manners or is their another reason for this?  When the businesswoman point out what had just happened, the men in the room deny it completely.  So the only time she will get any support is if another woman is in the room.  So what is going on?

Psychologists have noticed that if a very attractive woman says anything to men.  The men are so interested in watching her, that they don’t hear what she says.  It is a bit like the hypnotist swinging a pendulum to keep the conscious mind occupied.  So, she is hypnotising them without being aware of it.  Because everything she says, will by-passes their conscious mind and goes straight to the unconscious mind.  But having put him into a trance, it is important she knows how to exploit this, for her own gains.

This suggests that an attractive woman, with say a low cut dress or any revealing clothing, with a man is gawking at her, can say what she likes to him, without him being consciously aware of what she is saying.  So she is then in a unique position to be able to brainwash him into anything she likes.  It may even be possible to say outrageous things like, “you will obey me at all times,” without him being consciously aware of it.  Though perhaps most women will try saying things that are less direct at first, to see how he responds first.

If a woman feels too shy or frighten to be so direct with him she can feed what she wants into the conversation.  So she can talk about something like dog training and explain about how important it is to get a dog to obey.  So in this conversation she can put in phrases like, “I expect total obedience”, when talking about a dog.  But if fed to the unconscious mind without censorship from the conscious mind, then the man has in his mind that he has to be obedient to her.

Though this phenomenon can work against women who are not aware of what is happening.  The problem for many women is that if they have a partner who is not consciously listening to her, she could unwittingly brainwash him is ways that she doesn’t want.  If she complains to him, about his faults as this could make them worse.  This means she has to think about what she says and tell him things about what she wants from him, and not what she doesn’t want.

For example, just saying, “you never listen to a word I say.”

I might be true, but it will brainwash him into becoming even more deaf to what she says.

She would be better to say things like, “you always do as you are told.”

Even if it isn’t true, because although he is not consciously listening, his unconscious mind will have heard it and feed it back later to his conscious mind.  And the more she say things like this, the more it will indoctrinate him into what she wants him to be.

I will discuss this more in the NAGGING section of this article.  Also for further research you can buy hypnotism or NLP books or and research it on the internet.  An example of this, is this video on Youtube.


What is interesting is that nearly all patriarchal religions insist on worship, where people are expected to worship a god.  The Muslims take it to the extreme, (like they always do) and strict Muslims are expected to worship Mecca twice a day.  In the past people were even expected to worship kings and emperors. So what is it about worship that is so important?

So it is of interest that we find worship in Femdom where men want to kiss women’s feet, or even their bottoms.  What is so important about worship is the emotions it creates within the worshipper.  When a man worships a woman he feels a strong emotion of devotion.  So it then becomes a powerful tool for a woman to gain total control and dominance over him.  For this reason Dominant Women need to learn from patriarchal religions and get their submissive partner to worship them once or twice a day.

The problem with Femdom is that spanking, torturing or humiliating a man is more dramatic than just kissing a woman’s feet or bottom and so it can be neglected.  But the feeling of devotion that worship brings is also very important.

But can it be used on men not into Femdom?  Perhaps it can at the beginning of a relationship. We all know that at the beginning of any relationship between men and women the main focus for men is having sex with the woman.  So many men have seduction techniques like complimenting a woman and telling her what she wants to hear.  So a woman can play along with his and use it to her advantage by saying things like.

“Am I beautiful,” and the man will off course agree. 

Then she can ask, “do I look like a goddess.”

And again he will agree.

So she can then suggest, “I like being told I’m a goddess.”

The man can then take the hint and tells her she is a goddess. 

She can then respond by saying, “Oh I like that, tell me again.”

So she can get him to tell her she is a goddess a number of times and she can show him she likes it and encourage him to put a bit of feeling in what he says.

Then she can suggest, “Oh, I love to be a goddess and have men at my feet worshipping me.”

Some men may respond to this and worship her, others won’t.  Some might fear that she is trying to make a fool of him, and so she has to reassure him that she is not.

So she can say, “it’s just a fantasy of mine, to be worshipped like a goddess, I would like you to do it, as it turns me on.”

Many men will do this because they might fear that if they don’t, she won’t want to have sex with him.

So there will be two factors working here.  The first one is that, as previously mentioned, that when men stare at an attractive woman the conscious mind gets turned off.  So her suggestions that she is a goddess will go straight to his unconscious mind.  But the very fact of going on his knees to worship her can created feelings of devotion to her.

This can even work with a married couple.  After awhile the sex-drive goes down and people don’t have sex so often.  The woman can then just wait until her husband wants to have sex, and says she is not in the mood.  But then suggest what might turn her on, is to be worshipped like a goddess.  So if she can get him to do that, she can make it part of the foreplay every time they have sex.  And while he is worshipping her she can feed other ideas into his unconscious mind like, “I am she who has to be obeyed,” and pretend it’s a joke if he mentions it.

So again this is another way women can use sex to brainwash men by associating sex with female dominance.


Nagging is something women have done for thousands of years and has something of a bad reputation.  Many women complain they have nagged and nagged their husbands for years and it never changed their behaviour.  But perhaps the reason for this is that it is being used wrongly.

Advertisers and propagandists have noticed that if you repeat the same message again and again, people will end up believing what you say, as the truth.  This is exactly what women do when they nag, so why isn’t it effective for many women?

The reason why nagging doesn’t work is because women start to nag men when they are doing something they don’t want them to do.  So if say a woman tells a man repeatedly, “you never wipe you feet when you come in doors,” she might be unwittingly programming him into never wiping his feet!

So for nagging to be effective it has to be about repeating a message that she wants him to do and not what she doesn’t want him doing.  Therefore, she has to tell him when he is doing the right thing for her.  For example if she wants him to do the   washing up after dinner.  She can perhaps get him to do it once or twice but then she can reinforce this by keep on reminding him, he did the washing up for her.  So by this constant repetition, she can brainwash him into thinking of it, as his job.  

This can be taken a step further if she can get him to obey her at times.  Therefore she can remind him and praise him on how obedient he is.  The more she tells him he is obedient, the more he is likely to accept this and believe it. 

It would be fair to say many women do this anyway, and know how to nag in positive ways.  Positive nagging will become even more effective is a husband doesn’t always listen to his wife so whatever she says will go straight to his unconscious mind without the conscious mind interfering.


Behaviourists believe that they can change any human behaviour and make no distinction between human and animal training.  Some authors claim you can train men like dogs and for people who have had experience in dog training, this is probably true.

So how does it work?  Just through rewards and punishment.  So the principles of Behaviourism are really very simple but what makes it complicated is the people or animals you are trying to train.  This is because what exactly are rewards and punishment are not always obvious.

An example of this is when parents have to deal with a naughty extravert child, where punishment doesn’t seem to work.  The reason might be that the child being an extravert enjoys all the attention and drama associated with the punishment.  So the only way to punish a child like this, would be to ignore it.

The same thing can happen in a Femdom relationship where the man has persuaded the woman to spank him when he misbehaved.  But then finds his behaviour is even worse.  The reason being is that the man enjoys being spanked and so does everything he can to get her, to spank him more.  This then means the spanking is not a punishment but a reward.

B. F. Skinner one of the founders of Behaviourism claims that rewards are far more effective than punishment.  This will suit most women, as they are more able to give rewards to men than trying to punish them.  It is totally impracticable for women to punish men through violence, unless the man actively cooperates with the woman to do this.

Training men using Behaviourism requires keen observation and awareness.  So that when a man is doing what the woman wants, he is rewarded.  This is what Behaviourists call reinforcement.

This means that if a man is say doing the housework or waiting on a woman hand and foot.  She needs to show her appreciation for doing this, so that this behaviour is always reinforced.  This means Behaviourism is not about big dramatic gestures but just small things like a smile, a few words of praise and good timing.  So, that the reward is always associated with good behaviour. Timing can be important as the reward is far more effective if it is instant, rather than something later, when the memory has faded.

So behaviourism is not about being obviously dominant but more for women who wants to get her own way, without shouting orders at a man.


One of the strange things that has come from Femdom is orgasm denial, where a woman can go as far as putting a chastity belt on a man.  Then go and have sex as many men as she likes but deny him any sexual pleasure.

The weird thing about all this is that Femdom is suppose to be a sexual kink for men but we are finding Femdom men who are being denied sex completely.  So what is this all about?  We see a similar concept in ancient religions like Taoism in China and Tantra in India where men do have sex with women but are not allowed to orgasm.

This is a big issue because for most men being able to ejaculate inside a woman is what sex is all about, even though they may not care what orifice it is in.  This is why so many men do not like condoms as the sperm doesn’t stay inside the woman.  So to have sex with a woman without orgasm seems like asking too much.

Sex denial for women is commonplace in so many patriarchal societies.  In Western countries in the 19th century if was actually believed that women could not orgasm.  Or if she did, she was some sort of freak.  This was because the way men were encouraged to have sex with women, made it difficult for them to enjoy it.  The reason was that it was over too quickly and the clitoris wasn’t stimulated.

Things didn’t improve much in the 20th century when the female sexuality was accepted, as women had to fake orgasms because men’s techniques hadn’t improved much.  Women even today complain about Internet porn where porn actresses still fake orgasms, and this still perpetuates patriarchal myths about sex.

The Muslims, have taken this to the extreme and cut off the clitoris of girls to ensure women cannot enjoy sex.  So why do this? Why does patriarchy want to deny women sexual pleasure?  We might find an answer from our animal past.

We know many male animals like bulls, stags, rams, seals, lions and gorillas fight each other for dominance and access to females.  So the dominant male gets to have a harem of females with whom he fertilizers, while other males, whom are not big and strong enough, miss out.  

We see something similar in animals like wolves and meerkats that live in packs or gangs, where only the dominant couple are allowed to breed.  (The meerkat is interesting because like most members of the mongoose family they live in matriarchal groups ruled by the dominant female.)

So we see with many types of animals, sex is strongly associated with dominance and submission where only dominant animals enjoy sex.  Surprisingly, this seems to be true of humans as well.  Like many other animals, it seem that the individuals who are allowed to freely enjoy sex however they like, are mostly dominant, while those who are denied sex pleasure tend to be submissive.  So is this the reason patriarchal societies do their best to deny women sexual pleasure?  Because the denial of orgiastic sex helps keep them submissive.

Femdom men talk about ‘sub-space’ where they feel very submissive towards a Dominant Woman.  So perhaps being denied sexual pleasure by her, helps make a man feel very submissive.  Also some women have noticed that some men with Femdom desires are very submissive before sex but not afterwards.  So keeping them in denial is one way to ensure this doesn’t happen.

Now, some people will deny Taoism and Tantra has anything to do with Femdom.  This is because both religions claim that the reason why men are denied sexual orgasm is because sex weakens their spiritual energy.  But they probably had to invent some spurious reason like this, for them to survive in the patriarchal age.  

This is because Taoist and Tantra sex give women all the advantages.  They have sex with the women on top.  She can go as long as she likes with no fear it coming to an end, because he won’t ejaculate.  Also it means he will always be, ‘on the boil’, because not having an orgasm, he will be ready for sex whenever she wants it. 

Also to be able to make a man have penetrative sex without him being allowed to ejaculate, is strong indication of the degree she is able to dominate him. So it’s no wonder both religions had to invent other reasons besides female domination, to deny men having an orgasm, if they were to survive in patriarchal societies.

Women today can use and exploit the teaching of these two religions if they want to dominate their partner and are into Eastern spirituality.  They can tell the man about all the stuff about sex weakening spiritual energy and suggest they try out Taoist or Tantra sex.  Apparently women are allowed sexual orgasm in these two religions, so she hasn’t got to deny herself.  She can then use it to control her partner’s sexuality.  While the fact she is enjoying sex and he isn’t, means that this will provoke submissive feelings within him.


One big problem is creating a how to do manual is that every individual is different.  For instance some men can be trained by ‘hard to get’ games.  That is the say, the woman shows she is never satisfied and man has to work hard to please her.  This may work for some men but not all of them.  For another type of man if the woman is too hard to please, he will quickly become disheartened and give up.  So what works with one man, doesn’t necessary work for another.

This means a woman might need to experiment with a man.  Some men respond to being shouted at, while others hate it and sulk.  There are men who want to be spanked and humiliated by the woman but others don’t like it and just want to be obedient without the kinky stuff.

There will be men who want dominant women to be cruel and sadistic to turn them on.  But others are just happy to serve a woman without the need the need of any duress.  It is possible for a woman to be dominant without being cruel and nasty, but not all people agree with this.  The trouble is that no two people are the same.

Many women have problems with men coming to them with a list of demands on how they want to be dominated.  These women feel that if they give into these demands there is an issue about who exactly is in charge.  But just because the relationship starts off with the woman dancing to the man’s tune, it doesn’t mean it has to remain like that.

So even though a relationship might start off as a male Femdom fantasy, the woman still has the right to demand changes after awhile, so she gets what she wants.  After all she can point out that having acted out his fantasies, it is time he acted out hers.  This means the relationship can change and evolve and go beyond fantasy into her dominating him in reality.

Although the vast majority of men are submissive and will follow orders from anyone in authority without question there are a small minority of men who are not like this.  These are alpha men and they find it easy to gain power.  Examples of this are men like - Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Mao Zedong and Pol Pot.

It is remarkable how a small handful of men have been able to rule millions or billions of people throughout the patriarchal age.  But they can only remain in power while obedient men follow patriarchal doctrine and suppress women.  Feminists and Femdom men are questioning patriarchal indoctrination and are slowly destroying it. When this happens it will be possible for women to take over the position alpha males and dominate men and rule the world.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Mermaids the secret history of women.

My Mermaid video on the censored her-story of women, and the Aquatic Ape Theory has now a million hits!

A updated version of the above video can be seen in seven parts.-

Sunday, 18 January 2009

FemDom and Brainwashing techniques.

In the Venusberg by John Collier, 1901, This is a German legend of Tannhäuser a knight and poet who found Venusberg, the subterranean home of Venus, and spent a year there worshiping the goddess.

This article is available as a printed booklet at.-

Recently reading a web site on Behaviorist Psychology the author attacked one of its main advocates B. F. Skinner in the following sentences. –

“In ‘Beyond Freedom and Dignity’, Skinner put forth the notion that Man had no indwelling personality, nor will, intention, self-determinism or personal responsibility, and that modern concepts of freedom and dignity have to fall away so Man could be intelligently controlled to behave as he should. Despite the fact of the degree of implied human degradation involved, the question always remained just who would decide what Man should be, how he should act, and who would control the controllers?”

The claim by Behaviorist Psychologists that man doesn’t have any freewill and can be easily brainwashed to behave in anyway you wish, is highly controversial, and for obvious reasons is unacceptable to many people. Most people like to think they have freewill and are frightened of any suggestion that this might not be true. Now, I have to say from the start, I don’t believe everything Behaviourist Psychology claims, but the claim by them that man can be easily brainwashed, has been proven to be a fact. Throughout history, religions, cults and political parties have been using psychological techniques to brainwash their followers. As far back as 4,500 years ago the rulers of Ancient Egypt had successfully brainwashed their people into believing that the Pharaohs were gods. And to demonstrate their great power these ‘gods’ had had over their people, they made them build the great pyramids, as tombs for these Pharaohs, the biggest having 2.5 million limestone blocks of 2.5 tonnes. The time and effort to build such pyramids without any form of machinery is incredible and shows us how powerful the brainwashing techniques of the Ancient Egyptian rulers must have been. There are many well known psychological techniques that can be used by Femdom women to train men into becoming whatever they want, and this is what I want to discuss in this article.

Femdom is a paradox, although it is suppose to be about Female Domination it has been mostly men who have created this scene, through asking and even demanding that Women dominate them. Because it was created by men, many of its symbols and methods of domination are very masculine. For instance many dominas dress up in black leather, which is a very masculine form of dress, and used by macho bikers like the Hell’s Angels. Dominas are suppose to discipline submissive men with a whip or cane and even torture them. Violence is the way men gain power over other people it is certainly not the way Women do it. Women in the Femdom scene are totally dependant on men voluntarily bending over, or allowing themselves to be tied up to receive punishment. If a man refuses to do this, then there is little the Women can do about it, as very few Women would have the size and strength to overpower a man and force physical punishment on him in the same way that men have done to Women for centuries. So it means these men are not submissive to these Women because they fear physical punishment, they are obedient and submissive for other reasons.

We live in a world of male domination where men rule every government and country in our world. The result of this patriarchal world is that we live in a world of fierce competition, aggression and violence. In such a world Women generally feel powerless. This is because as Mao-Tse-tung (dictator of China between 1949-76) once claimed; “power comes through the barrel of a gun”.  Or Josef Stalin (Dictator of the USSR) or also pointed out,  "those who have the guns make the rules".  In other words, violence dominates our world where the boundaries between countries was sorted out in the past, and even today, through warfare. Where every country needs to have a standing army to defend themselves from attack, and there is always a war going on in some part of the world. In such a world, women are intimated by the violence of men. In the past it was ‘normal’ for men to beat their daughters and wives, (wifebeating)  and this is still true in most third world and Islamic countries. Even in our Western world many women are frightened to venture out at night-time on their own, and those who are brave enough to do so are condemned. As it is claimed that a Woman is “asking for it” if she is attacked or raped going home on her own in the early hours of the morning.

Violence has been the age old method for men to dominate Women for thousands of years. Up until the end of the 19th century and early 20th century it was ‘normal’ for a husband to beat his wife with a stick. And many husbands at that time were beating their wives to death and were not charged with murder. Even in the 20th century, when wife beating became illegal, the police still refused to intervene in ‘domestic disputes’ until forced to do so by feminists in the 1970s. In the past there were many men who didn’t want to dominate their wives through violence, and these men were made to feel ashamed of themselves because they were told they weren’t ‘real men’ if they couldn’t control their wives. The same system is still being used in Islamic countries, where it is claimed that a man is ‘dishonoured’ if his wife disobeys him. So ‘honour’ beatings and even ‘honour’ killings are commonplace in Islamic communities.

Yet force and violence is one of the least effective ways to influence people. Yes, through violence you can force a person to do or say whatever you want, but you cannot make them think, feel or believe the way you want them to do so, through violence. This is why all governments and religions use other, more effective ways to rule and control people.

Many “experts”, (who are mostly men) claim that male dominance is a fact of life, and men will always rule our world. Yet this is totally contradicted by the FemDom scene where men desperately want, and even demand, that Women dominate them. This, of course, is dismissed as an anomaly; after all, only very kinky people indulge in practises like this, as it is assumed that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t behave like this. Yet for the last few thousand years what has been considered ‘normal’ has been male domination. No one claims that the Islamic practises are kinky where we have genital mutilation against women where their clitoris are cut off, which makes sexual intercourse very painful for Women. And where women are routinely beaten by their husbands, who have the legal ‘right’ to rape their wives. Compared with this, the ‘perversions’ within the Femdom scene are very mild, indeed.

Yet, men are not as dominant as people are led to believe. For instance, the most efficient type of soldier in warfare is a man who is totally obedient, to the degree that if ordered to face near certain death charging at a machine gun post, he will obey without question. Men are very obedient to authority figures because in our hierarchical patriarchal societies only a small minority of men have real power, everyone else has to do as they are told. Without this unquestioning obedience by men to authority, civilization would break down completely. History has shown that men are easily brainwashed and indoctrinated to believe in whatever way those in authority want them to believe. For instance throughout history there have been many, very bad and despotic dictators who rule countries whom the people feared and hated, yet in spite of this, it has been very difficult for the people to organize themselves to overthrow these repressive dictators. The reason for this is that all these dictators have an army of young men who will obey them without question, and will kill and torture people, if ordered to do so. So it is this blind obedience to authority by men that makes it possible for despotic rulers to rule countries. Another case in point would be Islamic suicide bombers. These men have been indoctrinated to believe that if they die for the cause of Islam, after they die, they will live in a paradise, waited on by a hundred virgins, (both boys and girls). Because of this, many people in the West assume that these suicide bombers must be very stupid and ignorant, but in reality many are educated and intelligent people. So successfully has been this indoctrination, that even clever and well-informed people are brainwashed into wanting to be suicide bombers.

Some Women have noticed a great similarity between dogs and men. All dogs were once descended from wolves, a large and dangerous, carnivorous animal. When people first have a puppy they are encouraged to train it, but some people never do this or train it in incorrectly, and find they are living with a vicious and dangerous animal when it grows to full size. Every year there are reports of children being savagely mauled or even killed by the family’s pet dog. Unfortunately the dog is generally ‘put-down’ (killed), but it was either lack of training or incorrect training that caused this situation. The same is true of men, they are running amok in our world, starting wars, committing genocide, raping, beating up and killing women. With teenage boys fighting and killing each other or killing others or themselves by irresponsibly driving cars far too fast. This is because men on the whole are not trained or incorrectly trained by Women.

Now, this last statement will surprise many Women. Simply because they feel so powerless in our male dominated world, they cannot see how they can possibly train men and get them to do as they are told. Yet some Women can successfully do this, even outside the Femdom scene. Even when male dominance was ‘normal’ in our society, hundreds of years ago when a man wasn’t a ‘real’ man if he couldn’t dominate his wife, there have been reports of wives who were still successfully dominating their husbands.

Kamikaze pilot making suicide attack on US warship in WW2

Throughout history political and religious rulers have brainwashed men into doing whatever they want, including dying on a battle field or committing suicide as a Kamikaze pilot or suicide bomber. The techniques of doing this are not a secret, they are well known to cult leaders who likewise are able to indoctrinate their followers to go as far as to commit suicide as in the case of the Waco and Jonestown massacres. Some of these cults have become so successful at brainwashing people that they can even plant ‘false memories’ in their follower’s minds. It seems that if parents put pressure on their children in these cults, to get out of them, these cults can plant in the minds of these young people, memories of them being abused as young children by their parents.

If men can completely brainwash other men like this, why can’t Women do the same to men? After all it would be far better for men to be brainwashed by Women because Women will not be interested in indoctrinating them to die on battlefields, to commit mass suicide or blow themselves up as suicide bombers.

Women are far better equipped to indoctrinate men, than men are at indoctrinating other men or Women. This is because these methods need communication and social skills, which Women are far better at doing than men. Women have within their hands the power to rule the world if they want to do this, and Women have to decide whether they want our world ruled by selfish and aggressive and violent men, or by Women who are have a powerful maternal and nurturing instinct. But to do this, we have to look at the way the human mind works.

The human bio-computer.

As mentioned before, most people like to believe that they have minds of their own and are free to think whatever they want. Then back in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries famous psychologists like, the Russian Ivan Pavlov (1849-1936) and the Americans John B. Watson (1878 – 1958) and Burrhus F. Skinner (1904 – 1990) proved that this wasn’t the case. Watson once boasted that he could train a child to become whatever he wanted he wanted to be. To quote him:

“Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select – doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even beggar-man and thief, regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors.”

In the world of science there is a nature versus nurture debate where scientists are disagreeing whether people are more influenced by their genes or by the way they were brought up. Behaviourist psychology is very much in the nurture camp. Now nurture is what Women do best. Nature has given them the necessary social and communication skills to change the behaviour of men, to whatever they want them to be.

Watson established what is now called; The Psychological School of Behaviorism, but what these scientists discovered wasn’t new. Religions and politician institutions have been using these methods on people for thousands of years. It may surprise many people to learn it is not ‘natural’ for men to kill other people. Not only do the military have to train men to obey orders they also have to indoctrinate them to kill others. In the past they have done this by brutalising their troops and teach them to hate the enemy. In more modern time the brutalisation of soldiers has become unacceptable in many Western countries. The result was that in the Second World War the USA military discovered that most of their troops preferred to fire over the heads of their enemy, because they didn’t want the death of another human being on their consciences. So they called in B.F. Skinner and he showed them how to train troops to kill using behaviourist psychology. His methods have been very successful, but the trauma that troops now suffer in fighting wars is considerable, with high rates of suicide of soldiers who have seen action.

Behaviourist psychologists have always assumed that human beings and animals are the same, and have used animal training methods on humans. Animal training today has become very sophisticated in the ways of training animals. Using the same techniques a Woman can train her male partner to become anything she wants him to be. All these techniques are easy to understand if we realize how the human mind works.

Modern scientists are trying to explain how the human mind works by likening it to a sophisticated computer. The big difference between a computer and the human mind is that a computer is totally passive; it only does what the programmer tells it to do. Whereas the human mind is made up of two parts, these are what psychologists claim are the conscious and unconscious minds. The human mind is a self-programming computer, with the unconscious mind operating like a computer and doing exactly what it is told, while the conscious mind is the unconscious mind’s programmer. So in theory the conscious mind should be all-powerful, because the unconscious mind is totally obedient. But as we know there are many cases where a very good servant or slave can become the master by being too good at his or her job. There are many cases in history where rich and powerful people have become totally dependant on their servants, because the servants are so efficient at organizing everything for their masters that the masters no longer have to think for themselves and become lazy. So they become dominated by the way their servants have organized their lives. This unfortunately is true of most people. The unconscious mind does such a good job in looking after the conscious mind, that most people surrender control over to their unconscious mind, allowing the slave to become the master. Unfortunately if a person is not active in programming their unconscious minds, then there are many others who are more than happy to do this for them.

The Roman Catholic Jesuit priests once boasted, “give us a child for the first seven years and we have him for life”. In other words Roman Catholic priests are so good at indoctrinating children that it is very difficult for them to break away from this religion when they grow up. There are many intelligent and sensible Roman Catholic people who firmly believe that whatever the Pope says is ‘infallible’, or even think that the utterances of the Pope is the, “word of God”. Unfortunately this is also true of most religions, and political parties, who do their best to indoctrinate their followers.

In our modern age we find our TVs swamped by advertising. Now, most people like to think they are not influenced by adverts, but if you think that, then you are fooling yourself. Large multi-national companies do not spend billions of dollars on advertising, just for the fun of it, they do it because they know it works. For many companies their survival depends on the success of their advertising campaigns, A company’s products that no longer becomes fashionable or ‘cool’ can quickly become bankrupt. This is certainly true of well-known soft drink and burger multinational companies. If they fail to continue to be ‘cool’ to every new generation of teenagers, they would quickly go broke, and this is why advertising is so important for them. So how do religions, cults, political parties and advertising companies successfully program our minds? They do it through repetition.

When we start to learn a new skill like driving a car, we will at first consciously turn the steering wheel, consciously change the gears, and consciously put our foot on the accelerator and brake. Then after we have repeated these actions a number of times, we begin to do these actions automatically. This is how the conscious mind programs the unconscious mind, any action that the conscious mind repeats a number of times is learnt by the unconscious mind, and it begins to take over this action. This then allows a car driver to be free to drive down a road thinking about many other things, while their unconscious mind is driving the car. This then applies to all routine jobs we do. The unconscious mind takes over allowing the conscious mind to think about other things. It also applies to thoughts we think often, any thought that we repeatedly think, is also taken up by the unconscious mind and is fed back by it to the conscious mind. This is how we obtain habits of behaviour and thinking. So if the conscious mind doesn’t bother to question their habitual thinking, their lives can become dominated by the habitual unconscious mind. This is why we are all so vulnerable to advertisers. We look at TV and see the same adverts repeated time and time again; and because it is repeated so often, the unconscious mind learns the adverts by heart. So when we go out shopping our own unconscious mind repeats to us what it has learnt and we find ourselves buying the goods we have seen on TV without thinking. Religions, sects and political parties do exactly the same thing, repeating to their followers the same message over and over again, until it is learn by their unconscious mind, who then faithfully feeds it back to the conscious mind. What people call faith and belief are in reality, simply habitual thinking. If, let us say, we are repeatedly told something like, “the Bible, (or Koran) is the word of god, (or Allah),” the unconscious mind learns this, so whenever we think about the Bible or Koran the unconscious mind faithfully repeats to us, what we have been indoctrinated to think. Then because if we are no longer in charge of our unconscious mind, we find it hard to think of the Bible or Koran in any other way. We then assume that this habitual thought, is our belief or faith, because we are not questioning our habitual thinking.

This then shows us how important it is to take control over our unconscious mind and actively learn how to program it, instead of allowing other people to do it for us; and we do this by consciously repeating thoughts and ideas we want our unconscious mind to have. You can find out more about this by reading ‘positive thinking’ books. Most of them recommend affirmations, which is saying sentences that we repeat to ourselves over and over again; this will create for us the habitual thoughts and beliefs we want to have.


So the idea of feeding other people the same idea over and over again, or giving ourselves affirmations, is very much like nagging which is what Women do with men all the time. So nagging can be used as a very powerful tool to control men. Now, this will be a surprise to many Women who have nagged their male partners for years and found it totally ineffective. The reason is that nagging can only work if it is used in a positive way. Many Women point out to men all their mistakes and shortcomings when they nag, and the result is the opposite of what they want to achieve.

Nagging works exactly the same as advertising, if a Women keeps on repeating the same message to her partner over and over again, his unconscious mind learns it and he will begin to automatically respond to whatever the Women has programmed into his unconscious mind. Unfortunately, most nagging Women make the mistake of being negative about their partner. So if a Woman keeps on telling her partner he is lazy and never does anything around the house, she is unwittingly programming him to be lazy! If she tells him all the time; he is not romantic and never buys her flowers and always forgets her birthday, she will again have programmed him never to be romantic and to forget her birthdays! The worst thing a Woman can do is to continually tell a man that he doesn’t love her any more, because then he will be programmed into believing this.

So although nagging is a very powerful tool for any Women in gaining control over her male partner, she has to know what she is doing, and use it correctly. Which means to use it successfully Women have to learn how to praise men. Now, this is a method Women have been using for centuries, Women in strongly patriarchal societies have found they can get what they want from men, by praising them and pandering to their egos. For this reason many Dominant Women do feel it is beneath them to use such methods, because they see it as the tactics of submissive Women. But positive nagging is more than just stoking up a man’s ego, it is a method of programming his unconscious mind to become whatever she wants him to be. Many Women today are rediscovering these techniques and they are being discussed in Women’s magazines but instead of calling it nagging it is called, “the broken record technique”. (For young people who never use a vinyl record, if a vinyl record is damaged it may block a groove causing the record to play the same small piece of music over and over again.)

Bruno Schulz 1890

If a Dominant Woman is living with a man who is not always obedient, if she makes an issue about every time he is disobedient, she is programming him to be even more disobedient. It is far more effective if the Dominant Women, instead, points out to him every time he is obedient and keeps on telling him how wonderfully obedient he is to her, all the time. This will be learnt by his unconscious mind, which will faithfully remind him to be obedient every time she tells him to do something.

But nagging can be used not only to gain obedience; it can be used to change a male partner’s character. It is known by educationalists that the worse thing you can do to a child is continually to call him or her “stupid”, simply because you can program them to be that way. The same is true of adults, a wife who keeps on calling her husband stupid is likely to program him to be like this. Men are suppose to be good at doing D.I.Y. jobs about the house, but this is not true of all men. So if you do have a male partner who is useless at doing D.I.Y. jobs then the worse thing you can do is tell him this, because it simply confirms what he believes. If a Dominant Women tells her slave to put up some shelving and he does a terrible job of doing it, she then has to be clever about what to say to him. The obvious question to ask is; “have you ever done anything like this before”. If that is the case then the Woman can explain that most people have problems the first time they do anything. The Woman then can tell him, “I know you can do a better job than that”, and tell him he needs to practise and learn how to do it, so get him to do the job again even if they have to buy new wood. If on the other hand he has done D.I.Y. jobs before you need to find out his experience of doing this sort of work. You may find out that perhaps he worked with his father as a child, who expected too much of him and told him how useless he was. So his father may have unwittingly programmed his son into believing he is totally useless at D.I.Y. jobs. This will mean that the Dominant Woman will have to spend some time in reprogramming her slave into becoming good at D.I.Y. She might have to start him off on very simple and basic jobs and give him praise for successfully doing them, and slowly build up his confidence and abilities.

It is true you can motivate some men by shouting at them and telling them how useless they are, and they will be strongly motivated to prove you wrong. But this is only true for some men and even with this type of men their confidence can be undermined in the long term, through being continually told how useless they are. They still need to be told how good they are, when they do a good job. The problem with this, is that when the slave has been told he is useless and he then proves her wrong by doing a good job, the Dominant Women then has to back down and acknowledge how well he has done.

For many Women all this is all very elementary, as Women have instinctively done this to men for thousands of years. The problem is that many Women don’t always program men or their children for their own benefit. Women themselves have been brainwashed to believe that it is ‘wrong’ for them to dominate men and that it is ‘natural’ for men to be the dominant sex. Also if she loves her husband and sons she feels she doesn’t want to programme them into becoming ‘wimps’, she wants them to be strong and macho so they can stand up for themselves in our brutal patriarchal society. It means that Women have the power and many Women even know how to use this power, but many have been successful brainwashed into not using it. The problem is that if Women don’t use their power to program men, then other men in positions of power will use these methods to exploit men. As previously pointed out, men can be programmed to die on a battle field or blow themselves up in a suicide attack. Obviously no Woman would be interested in programming any man to do this, but it demonstrates what can be achieved. So a Woman can program a man to be whatever she wants him to be if she knows what she is doing.

For instance a Dominant Woman can have a slave who smokes and wants him to give up smoking. Now, it might work through just her ordering him to give up, but if that doesn’t work, it will undermine her authority, so to make sure it does work, she should mentally prepare him beforehand. So she should tell him that she wants him to give up smoking and that she knows he has a very strong will and it will be easy for him. He might disagree with her that he is strong willed, but she should ignore this. Then for the next few months she should continue to talk about this, continually giving him positive suggestions on how easy it will be for him to give up smoking. Then, when she feels he is ready she should then order him directly to do this. If he fails, then she can claim that perhaps not all people are successful in giving up the first time and then continue the give him positive suggestions and try again at a later date. It is well known that to successfully break habits or addictions you do need the unconscious mind on your side. If there is a strong program in the unconscious mind working against any change, then you don’t stand a chance. The unconscious mind needs to be programmed in the right direction, before any attempt to break an addiction is made.

A Dominant Woman can use similar methods if say she notices that her slave is putting on weight and she wants him to go on a diet. Before she orders him to go on a diet she needs to sell it to him first. Telling him how wonderful the diet will be and it will be successful it will be in making him more healthy. What she must not do is go on about him being fat or overweight or even unhealthy. Most diets do work, but where most fail is that most people fail to keep the weight off. This is because there is so much negative propaganda in the diet industry about people being fat. The last thing anyone should be telling an overweight person is reminding them of how fat they are. Keep on telling a person they are fat or overweight and you will program their unconscious minds into believing this to be true, and they will stay fat. So even if they go on a diet and lose weight their unconscious mind is still programmed to believe they are fat, and because of this programming the person will go back to their old eating habits and put on weight again. So if you want your slave to stay slim you need to program his unconscious mind into accepting this. This means that once he has been on a diet and is now the weight you want him to be, you should continually tell him how slim he is, until his unconscious mind gets to learn this. His unconscious mind will then work to ensure he stays at the weight you want him to be. It is a good idea to also tell him how healthy he is as well, if you want him to live for a long time.

The method can be used to change the sexual performance of any man. Some Women have unwittingly made their men impotent by what they say to them. For some Women, if their men cannot get a hard erection when they have sex, they assume that he no longer finds them attractive. If she voices these fears she can put him under pressure to perform, he then may worry about it, that will create negative thoughts about his ability to get an erection and he can find it more and more difficult to do this. A Woman can do the same thing through unfortunate jokes. Sometimes a man might have problem getting erect and she makes joke about it saying he is a marshmallow. He gets upset about it and again unwittingly thinks negatively about his abilities, which programs his unconscious mind to have problems in having an erection.

Some Women like it when their man becomes erect when they see them in the nude. And this does happen when two people start making love for the first time. Then over time the passion cools and the man no longer gets an erection so easy. But the woman can keep this going, if when they first start making love, comment on it every time, he gets an erection seeing her naked. The more she says this, the more she can program his unconscious mind to react automatically to her nudity. Certainly the more a Women makes comments to her man about how hard he is, the less likely he will have problems of impotence later in life.

Some Women when having penetrative sex don’t like it if the man becomes soft or ejaculates before she orgasms. And if she makes a fuss of this, the more likely she will undermine his confidence and the more likely he will become softer even sooner. Yet in ancient times women found a solution to this problem. In Eastern religions there are two ancient religions called Taoism in China and Tantra in India. Both religions worship a Goddess and both were once Matriarchal religions. In both religions they have the concept of men training themselves to never ejaculate while having sex with Women. The explanation given is that men lose “spiritual energy” if they ejaculate, which is probably something they made up to allow this practice to continue in a patriarchal age. This practice gives Women a big advantage, it certainly is a cure for men ejaculating too soon and by denying him orgasm, it has the effect of keeping him, “on the boil” all the time. So he will always be ready for sex whenever the Woman wants it and the effect will be that he will learn to maintain an erection for a far longer period.

Men learn to do this through masturbation, by continually bringing themselves up to the point of orgasm but always stopping before the orgasm happens. Some men use the squeeze technique where they squeeze the base of the penis very hard to prevent the sperm coming out. But this is impracticable when having sex with a Woman, it is more about the man learning to consciously change his focus of attention. Some men learn by using pornography, he looks at the porn to bring up his excitement, but when he is too excited and in danger of spurting, he looks away and thinks of something else. If the Women wants to get involved, she can supervise his training but she has to be very observant and have a knowledge of men’s sexuality. Women can do this by teasing him, doing things to him to build up his excitement and stopping before he might ejaculate. So her teasing teaches him how to stay erect without spurting.

Taoism and Tantra disagree on one thing. In Taoism men are trained never to ejaculate for years, but in Tantra the sexual fluids of female lubrication, sperm and even urine and considered to be sacred. So men drink the sacred fluids of Women and Women drink the sacred fluids of men.

Some Dominant Women deny their men an orgasm through the use of male chastity devices you can buy in sex-shops. This again is effective in keeping the man on the boil, but is certain not a cure for men who ejaculate too quickly. Also there are many Women who like to see their men spurt, while some Dominant Women like to taste and swallow sperm, so these Women wouldn’t be interested in men who never ejaculate

Programming a man to obey orders

There are other methods that Women can cement her control over men. When men join the army, navy or air force they are taught to march on a parade ground. They will be trained to march up and down by a sergeant major, who will be shouting out orders to them all the time, like, “attention, “quick march, left, right, left right, squad turn right, squad turn left, squad halt, etc. The reason is that by continually having to obey orders, it will program the men’s unconscious mind to obey orders without question. This type of programming is so successful, that troop will automatically obey orders in battles, like being ordered to come out of trenches, knowing they will be mowed down by enemy machine gun fire. (See Recruit Training)

A Dominant Woman can use exactly the same technique. When a submissive man comes to a Dominant Woman wanting her to dominate him, she can make the mistake of thinking he will always be like this. The problem can be, that he might have two very different programs going on in his unconscious mind. On will be saying, “I desire to be submissive towards Woman”, another one could be telling his the exact opposite. It could be telling him, “I need to learn to be a real macho man so I need to learn to assert myself.” While he is in love and enthralled by the Woman the program that says, “I want to submit” with be in charge, but at a later date as the passion cools the other program that says, “I want to be a macho man” will start to come to the surface. So it would be best for the Dominant Woman to reinforce the programming within him that says, “I want to submit”, while he is enthralled by her. She can do it in exactly the same way as the military does. She doesn’t have to be a sergeant major but she can exercise her power over her submissive man by giving him every day pointless orders. For example, she can be to tell him to walk up the stairs, and then when he is up there tell him to walk down again, and meaningless orders of this nature. Subjected to pointless orders like this everyday, will program his unconscious mind to obey her without question. So if at a later date other programs within his mind such as, “I want to be a macho man”, comes to the surface which makes him defiant of her, she can easy gain control over him again by simply giving him orders, which he has to obey, as he has been programmed by her to do this.

A more extreme version of this sort of programming would be to treat a man like a dog. So a Dominant Woman would buy a dog-collar and lead and put it on her submissive partner, and get him to go on all fours. Then simply train him the same way a dog is trained, giving him orders like “heel”, “sit”, “beg” etc. Training a man using dog-training techniques has been discussed in the controversial BBC TV show, "Bring Your Husband to Heel", and in the book, “How To Train A Man”, by Nancy Winters.

Some Dominant Women enjoy dominating a man so much they like to demand him to do outrageous things, like ordering him to give her gay male friends a blow-job. To her it might be just a bit of fun but making her submissive man do extreme act like this, can have a powerful affect on him. In doing something like that, strongly confirms to him that he must be very submissive and that the Dominant Woman has great power over him. Helping to program him to be even more submissive. Though it has to be admitted that something like this can backfire if the man really didn’t want to do something like this. So it is a help if the Dominant Woman questions him about this first, suggesting to him what she would like him to do, and see how he reacts to this.

Many people within FemDom use rituals. Again these also can become very helpful in keeping a man submissive. Some submissive men talk about “subspace”, what this means, is that some submissive men are not submissive all the time. Sometimes they feel like an ‘ordinary’ person and other times they want to submit to a Women. It is the latter desire they call subspace. With such a man, rituals are very important for any Dominant Women living with him, because she has to know how to tune him into subspace quickly, whenever she wants him to be submissive. If a man kisses a Woman’s feet while she is standing or sitting when he is ordered to do so, it will be hard for him to think of this is as the action of a ordinary man, so this ritual would tune him into subspace. So rituals like this would have to be repeated often, so he is programmed to do it automatically, when ordered to so, and he will also be tuned into ‘subspace’ when he does them. How it works is that perhaps the Woman wants him to do something, but because he is in ‘normal’ consciousness he feels he has the right to refuse to do it or disagree with her. Simply by ordering him to kiss her feet will put him into a different frame of mind where he will obey without question.


Hypnosis has also been suggested by some people as a method Women can use to dominate men, and now there are many web-site on Dominas using hypnosis on men. The fact that these web-sites are becoming increasingly popular shows the deep need in many men to want to submit to Women. Now, there is a real mystery about how hypnosis works, I have read books on hypnosis and find they are very cagey on just what hypnosis is. One book I read by two psychologists said they done a year’s study on hypnosis and one concluded that hypnosis doesn’t exist while the other claimed that, yes, it does exist, but all people are in a hypnosis trance all the time. The important thing about hypnosis is the giving of suggests, and it seems that suggestions can be effective, even when people are in normal consciousness. Now, the reason why books on hypnosis are evasive about its true nature, is because hypnosis as practised in the nineteenth century and early twentieth century had a very strong dominance and submission theme within it. Hypnotists in the past used to say things to their clients like, “you are now completely in my power”, “the only voice you will hear is mine, and you will do everything I tell you.”. Back in the nineteenth century most hypnotist experiments seem to be practised by educated middle age men on young female servant girls. So the theme was of dominant men and submissive women. These upper or middle-class men must have found it very easy to dominate younger working class women. There is no mention of these men sexually abusing these girls but it probably did go on. This theme continued in the 20th century where there has been many court cases of male hypnotists being accused of sexually abusing female clients while in a trance. This D/S behaviour in hypnosis might have been acceptable in the past, but not in the late twentieth century and twenty-first century. Unfortunately, by not allowing hypnotists to be so dominant anymore, it means that hypnosis is not so effective as it once was. Though some hypnotists today are still able to make it work, if they have a dominant personality.

I did once go to a talk by a hypnotist who was more honest about what goes on than most modern hypnotists. He explained the importance of what he called pre-suggestion. What he was talking about, is that the hypnotist needs to sell how powerful hypnosis is, to the person they are hypnotising, before even starting the hypnosis. In other words the hypnotist will start to give the suggestions while their client is in normal consciousness. If a Dominant Woman wishes to hypnotise a man she cannot be wishy-washy about it, she has to be articulate, confident, authoritative and domineering. She would have one advantage over a professional hypnotists, because nowadays they cannot so easy, get away with telling their clients, “you are now completely in my power”. Whereas a Dominant Women can be uninhibited telling the man he will be totally obedient to her while he is in a trance. Professional Dominas can also use hypnotic techniques on their clients. In theory a client going to a Dominatrix should be very obedient, but in practise this doesn’t happen. Many men go to Professional Dominas with a list of demands on how they want to be dominated, or the Dominas ask their clients what they want done, which hands the power to the client. All this makes a mockery of the concept of a man going to Dominatrix to be dominated. So a Dominatrix can take back her power by using hypnotic techniques without the client being aware of it. She can use pre-suggestions by selling the idea to their clients of how powerful and irresistible she is, and how obedient the client will be. The client will probably go along with this, thinking it is part of the play-acting Professional Dominas do for their clients. She can even talk the client into a trance by using a slow and sexy voice and telling him to relax, and when he does feel very relaxed, (not knowing he is in a trance) she can then give him suggestions that he will be totally obedient to her. She can then dominate him in the way she wants to do so.

Dominance and Submission

The Femdom scene is all about Dominance and Submission but the way men and Women see D/S, can be very different. Men have an instinctive drive to compete against other men. We can see this competitive instinct in most other male animals where bulls, rams, stags etc. fight each other every spring for dominance and access to females. So in masculine terms the dominant male is also the winner. Many male animals also have a pecking order or hierarchical system, where the strongest male commandeers the best food for himself as well as his pick of the females while the less stronger males only get what he has left. We see this also in male dominated patriarchal societies, where the ruler becomes the dominant male and greedily takes whatever he can and the lesser dominant males take what is left. We can see this in the past where rulers not only live in great luxury while their people live in poverty, they will have hundreds of wives and concubines. So to a man D/S is all about winners and losers and to him it is right that, “the winner takes it all”.

How Women see D/S can be very different because they have different instincts. Women have maternal and nurturing instincts, so they don’t instinctively see relationships in terms of Dominance and Submission, but in the terms of the giving and receiving of love. To them the mother/child relationship is all-important and they tend to treat men as if they are children. When a mother has child she finds herself in the situation of becoming the child’s slave. This is because a newborn child is totally helpless, and it cannot possibly survive without a mother caring for its every need. Therefore when men dominate Women and demand they serve them, many Woman can accept it, if she sees her husband as a baby who needs to be care for and nurtured. So the Dominant husband is seeing the relationship in terms of winning and losing, with him as the winner, while the wife is seeing the relationship in terms of mother and child. Even if the man is violent and abusive with her, she can forgive him because babies can be cruel and ungrateful to their mothers with babies keeping mothers up all night with their crying and throwing tantrums to get their own way. So when a Woman continues to love a man even though he may physically and verbally abuses her, he assumes she must be a masochist, whereas she just sees him as a big baby.

As a child grows up then the relationship between the mother and child changes, as the mother has to socialize and teach the child. To men the process of teaching is again about dominance and submission. Male dominated schools in the past were about the teachers having strict control over the pupils and they were caned or flogged if they were disobedient in any way. It is of interest that many sadomasochist fantasies are about this old fashion type of schooling. At one time this was seen as an explanation for FemDom, because men were caned at school it was assumed that this perverted their sexuality and they wanted to relive these experiences, by being caned by a Dominatrix. Because of this some Professional Dominas used to play the role of a strict schoolteacher. Nowadays with men going to Professional Dominas who have never been caned at school, this explanation is no longer taken seriously. In more modern times schools tend to use more feminine methods to teach pupils and the result is chaos, with many people demanding we go back to the old fashion masculine methods of teaching and controlling children. The reason for this chaos is probably that both masculine and feminine methods are being used at school, which are in contradiction with each other.

It is like two parents trying to bring up children with two different ways of bring up their children. The father may be trying the old fashion way and by using a cane and shouting at the children, while the mother is using her social and communication skills to socialize the children. The father may be accusing the mother of continually undermining his authority as the children go to her for protection. While the mother is fed up with the father spoiling what she is trying to achieve, so the children are confused because they are given two very different messages about how to behave. The same is true in schooling today.

The Dominant Woman, like the submissive Woman, still treats a man like a child, the different is that the submissive Women thinks of a dominant man as a baby while the Dominant Woman sees the man as a child of school age. She sees her role of that teacher and trains him to serve her, because this is the way he learns how to love and care for others.

What many people have noticed in the Femdom scene is that some Women find dominating men very easy to the degree they can dominate men outside the Femdom scene, while other Women find dominating men very difficult, if not impossible. Why this is so, is to many people a mystery. Some people claim that the reason for this is to do with ‘body language’, the theory being that our body language betrays what we thing about ourselves. So a submissive person shows their submissiveness by the way they hold their body, and this is true of a dominant personality. Our personally can also be shown to others by our tone of voice and the way we use our words.

Now, some people assume that we are born to be either dominant or submissive, and there is nothing we can do about this, but it is possible for a person to create a dominant personality if they want to do this. This was true of a footballer called Marion Morrison who became the actor John Wayne. He got into films only because he was very good looking, but he couldn’t act and when they tried to get him to play the ‘hero’ he simply wasn’t macho enough. The result was he found himself being the ‘star’ of low-budget B-movies. Yet he was both ambitious and determined to be a good actor and play his hero roles in the way they should be played. He watched himself on the B-movies that he performed in, and looked at ways he could improve his performance. He slowly taught himself not only to be more macho but to have a more dominant personality. The result was that as he improved his performance famous directors like John Ford began to use him and he became an international star. Not only did he learn to be more macho and dominant as an actor, he learnt to do this in his normal life and took on the same role as his screen personality.

There are many actors who are far better at acting than John Wayne. Actors like him only succeeded in playing one role, which he played in all his films. But there are actors who can take on many different type of personalities in different films or plays. So how do they do this? It seems that the best actors do it by trying to get ‘under the skin’ of the character they are portraying. This is called ‘method acting’ where the actor, doesn’t try to act, instead they try to convince themselves they are the actual character in the play or film they are in. To do this they have to program their unconscious mind before the play or film to take on this role. This means they have to imagine what it would be like to be this person, and run through their minds all the thoughts and feelings this person would have.

Once an actor has programmed their unconscious mind that they are the character they are attempting to be, they then find that the body language, tone of voice and the way they would react comes to them automatically. So a Woman who wants a dominant personality needs to run through her mind first what it would be like to be dominant, imagining what it would feel like dominating men. The more she does this, the more she will program her unconscious mind into being this character. So in time she will start to automatically take on the body language and behaviour of a dominant personality, and she will find men responding to this. Then if any man starts to behave submissively towards her, she needs to run this over in her mind time and time again, to give herself more and more confidence that she can dominate men. It is important to be choosy about what to think about and take control of what you choose to think. If she is in a situation where her new dominant personality is not working and a man is not obeying her, then it is important not to dwell on it. Simply because to do so, will only undermine her confidence in herself. It is better to continue to think about the times it is working and make this your dominant thought. This then will greatly increase the confidence of the Woman, making it far more likely that her dominant personality will grow and men will obey her.

Unfortunately Women do not have as many dominant role models as have men. Men have many dominant and macho role models on film, but unfortunately many of the more dominant Women roles on film are also violent roles. So if a Woman doesn’t want to train herself in martial arts, then she cannot relate herself to any of these Women. Fortunately society is changing and more and more Dominant Women are appearing who do not need to be violent to dominate men, but some Women have done this without any role model to aspire to. The answer is that she allows herself to, “dream the impossible dream”. It is true many people may dream impossible dreams but what they also do, is tell themselves they have to be sensible about this. So perhaps many girls might have had dreams of dominating men but as they grew up they then started to tell themselves that such dreams are impracticable or impossible. So these contrary thoughts prevent her from developing a dominant personality. Whereas a Women with a dominant personality probably enjoyed the dream for its own sake and didn’t worry whether it was sensible or practicable, so she was able to develop a dominant personality that men began to respond to, as she grew up.

Another point is, that there are many young girls that are, “little madams”. These girls are very bossy when they are young, but as they grow older, they have to face the reality of the patriarchal society, where men rule the world. With little support from the society they live in, many of these “little madams” have their confidence in being able to boss men greatly undermined. So they feel they need to be pragmatic and become the submissive Woman that the patriarchal society expects them to be. Fortunately there have been Women who have resisted society's pressure to conform even when society was very patriarchal as it was back in the 19th century, and it is through the actions of these Women that society is slowly changing.

A curious thing about the Femdom scene is that many submissive men actually train Women to be dominant. The problem is for many of these men is that they become frightened of their own desires. The result is that although they want to be dominated by a Woman, because of their fears, they still want to be in control of the situation. For this reason these men try to “top from the bottom”. This paradoxical behaviour creates problems for Dominant Women because if they give into these men’s demands, they end up just being the man’s puppet, but if she asserts herself and asks, “just who is in charge here?” She will frighten these men away. Yet there is another way she can deal with this. A man coming to a Woman wanting to play D/S games is a great opportunity for her to program him into being genuinely obedient to her.

Men who join the army and are ordered to march up and down on the orders of a Sergeant Major, are not told that the purpose of this, is to program their minds into total obedience. In fact most military personal are total ignorant of the fact their unconscious minds have been programmed to obey orders without question. A Woman can do the same to a man who wants to play Femdom games with her. She needs to avoid the man telling her what to do during the session they are playing together. It is helpful to discuss with the man what he wants, then take control during the session. Though this is not essential because she can soon learn what his kinks are after a few sessions. Then in the spirit of her acting out the role of a Dominant Women he wants her to play, she can look for any opportunity to give him orders, she knows he has to obey. There may be some problems at first, as he may still try to keep control by ‘correcting’ her on the right thing to say. She shouldn’t make an issue about this and go along with his ‘corrections’ as it will assure him he has not lost control, while she can perfect her skills in acting out the role of a bossy woman. So even though it is play-acting, the fact that she is giving orders which he is obeying, will program his unconscious mind to obey orders from her.

Also in the spirit of her being a Dominant Woman, she can say things like, “I am your Mistress, you are my slave, you will always obey me” or whatever feels right. She can still pretend she is play acting and this is part of the game, but if he questions this, and if words like this worry him, then it is best to back off until he is properly programmed to obey. How long it will take to program a man to obey without question will vary greatly from man to man. So it is best to be patient and take it slowly. If she attempts to assert her dominance before he is properly programmed she might alert him to the possibility that you are not playing a game, and you want to dominate him in reality. This could frighten him away. It is best not to go beyond what he is asking for a number of sessions, and then test how far he has been programmed by pushing the boundaries bit by bit. If she takes it slowly then he is not going to get frightened, and she can gradually become more and more bossy during the sessions and start to dominate him outside the sessions as well. She can then re-enforce this by giving him praise and encouragement when he is obedient and ignore him when he is disobedient.

Up until now I have talked about Dominant Women dominating submissive or partly submissive men. What about men who are not in the least bit submissive? Would these methods work or these types of men? The answer is that they should work successfully on the vast majority of men, it doesn’t matter if a man is very macho or has a dominant personality, it should still work. After all, the military have no problem in brainwashing very macho or dominant men. I know personally a woman who was in an unhappy relationship where her husband dominated her by undermining her confidence. Then suddenly one day he left her for another Women. What shocked her was that she got reports that his new wife would openly boss him about. She couldn’t understand it, as he was never like this when he lived with her. So what was his second wife’s secret? How was it that she could dominate him quickly and easy? It seems that her technique was very crude and direct: she simply shouted at him. As it turned out, as a young man he spent two years in the British army on National Service, so he was already programmed to obey without question anyone who behaved like a sergeant major. So by shouting at him, his second wife did behave like this and found it easy to dominate him. I cannot guarantee that this technique will work on all ex-servicemen and there will be problems in getting involved with any military personal that have seen action. As warfare does leave men with mental scars and psychological problems.

If a man hasn’t been programmed to obey without question, and doesn’t show any submissive behaviour, then a Woman will need to be patient, and it could take years to establish dominance over him. For this I would recommend animal training techniques as explained by two books; What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage by Amy Sutherland and How To Train A Man by Nancy Winters. Both of these books are for mainstream readers and so to make them acceptable, Amy Sutherland steers away from talking about dominance and submission, while Nancy Winters makes a joke about it all.  (If you want to read a more upfront book by an ex Dominatrix then read Owning and Training a Male Slave By Ingrid Bellemare).

The principles of these books are very simple: you encourage and reinforce the behaviour you want in your man and ignore completely any behaviour you don’t like. If a man hasn’t studied psychology, or the occult, or reads positive thinking books, he would be unaware that most of his behaviour is dictated by his unconscious mind. So because his unconscious mind will be in charge, then you have to look more at his unconscious or habitual behaviour and thoughts, to bring about change. If you appeal directly to his conscious mind, you are unlikely to make any change, simply because he will be controlled by his unconscious mind. So it is easier to effect change by reprogramming his unconscious mind, where you can change his behaviour without him being aware of it. Now, to do this successfully you have to look at your own unconscious behaviour as well.

Unfortunately our society tends to teach us to focus on the negatives and forget about the positives. In other words we are taught to focus on our problems and take all the good things that happen to us for granted. This is very true in relationships where many people can go on and on about their partner’s faults. Certainly there are many Women whose favourite topic of conversation is what shit-bags all men are. Now, although it is good thing to see clearly the problems of living with men, concentrating on their faults is not going to get you anywhere, as you can unconsciously program them to become everything you don’t want them to be.

If you want to change your partner for the better, then to do this you need to concentrate your mind on the positives of your relationship and make them stronger. As mentioned earlier, nagging can be a powerful way to reprogram the mind of your partner. Unfortunately the majority of nagging is done unconsciously, so even if a Women sees the sense of not using negative nagging, she will still find it difficult to change her habitual thoughts and behaviour, and carry on just as before. So to change her behaviour means she has to reprogram her unconscious mind before she can reprogram the mind of her partner. To do this, it is a good idea to draw up a list of everything about your relationship and your partner that you like. Once you have done this, then make a habit of reading this list a number of times every day. Also think about the list during the day and perhaps you my find yourself adding to it or clarifying it so it makes better sense to you. By doing this you will start to reprogram your unconscious mind to see the positive aspects of your partner, so when you nag him, you may find yourself starting to nag him in a positive way. Therefore programming into his mind more positive behaviour of the type you want. The more you can see the positives of your relationship, the more you will encourage these positives in yourself and in your partner.

If a Woman is very angry with her partner she may find it difficult to be positive about him. To overcome this, it will be a help to think of him as a dog. If you are training a dog you are far less likely to get negative about his behaviour, than if you are training a human being. This is because if a dog is displaying anti-social behaviour, you a far more likely to see it in terms of his being badly trained than you would a man, who is supposed to have ‘freewill’. As I have mentioned before, a person who is dominated by their own unconscious mind, has very little if any freewill, as they are controlled by their habitual thoughts. Such a person has probably the same amount of freewill as a dog.

If you see your male partner as simply a badly trained dog, then you can be far more detached about his bad behaviour. This will allow you to be far more clear-headed about using any practical methods to change his behaviour for the better. If you are angry with him, you are far more likely to want to punish him or nag him in a negative way, which will reinforce his bad behaviour.

Going back to the quote I used at the beginning of this article:

“In ‘Beyond Freedom and Dignity’, Skinner put forth the notion that Man had no indwelling personality, nor will, intention, self-determinism or personal responsibility, and that modern concepts of freedom and dignity have to fall away so Man could be intelligently controlled to behave as he should. Despite the fact of the degree of implied human degradation involved, the question always remained just who would decide what Man should be, how he should act, and who would control the controllers?”

History has shown that few men do have free-will and are easily brainwashed by political and religious institutions. The problem is that male political and religious leaders have shown themselves to be totally incompetent and irresponsible in the way they have used this power throughout history. As they have used this power to create wars and genocide and create unjust societies where there is widespread poverty. This is why it would be far better for us all if this power were in the hands of Women. It should be Women who should decide, “what man should be,” and “how he should act” and become man’s ‘controller’. As previously pointed out, the knowledge of how Women can dominate and brainwash men is not a big secret. It is just a matter of Women using and applying this knowledge to take control of men and train them properly.

This article is also available as a written booklet at. -

Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human-Biocomputer, by John C. Lilly

The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

William Bond's Hub pages

My Mermaid Video on Youtube